Pants plus Mother Fast

A dear friend of mine reminded me that tomorrow is also the monthly Fast for revelation about Heavenly Mother.  (I'm such a slacker!)  A day when a couple thousand women will dare to have an inseam in the chapel will coincide with a day for a... couple dozen? people to fast for the Goddess.

In light of recent tragedies, we need Mother more than ever.  We need women who are willing to make a difference in the world, even with the small things, more than ever.  I hope you'll join us find and be Our Lady.

#Pantsgate vs. The World

1. Pants are the stupidest thing to be arguing over in 2012.  Those against them need to chill out (at least one death threat was received by the organizers of Wear Pants to Church!  Death threats!  Yeah, Mormons totally respect women until they do something crazy like want to wear pants to church! < /blanketstatement> ) and those for them need to chill out.
2. Then again, it's not about pants.  Not really.  It's about... things that are really big and really complex and that others have talked about more eloquently than I.  Things that are super important to a lot of people and of no import at all to others.  However...
3. In light of today's events, who cares about pants?

May all blessings of solace be upon the victims and families in Connecticut.
May they be granted peace, somehow, in this season and in the year and years to come.

Pants: Still a scandal in 2012.

1 Samantha 16:7
7 But the Lady said unto Samantha, Look not on her appearance, or on the manner of her attire ... for the Lady seeth not as mortals seeth; for mortals looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lady looketh on the heart.

You know, I've seen women wear pants to church numerous times over the years.  It hasn't been often, but it has happened.  When I was young, it always surprised me but I never commented.  The women always looked appropriate and put together.  Granted, I live in a very liberal area of the US that has a reputation for bucking tradition and the ward I grew up in was very loving and open, but the prevailing winds within the Mormon community have still leaned heavily to skirts and dresses.  However, pants were not looked down upon, to the best of my knowledge, beyond a few surprised expressions before everyone got on with their day.  Investigators and new members have generally been given a pass to wear whatever they want or have.

That being said, you wouldn't think this event would cause much of a ruckus, but the Event page on Facebook has been slammed by many orthodox members of the Church (and some random non-member trolls) for being disrespectful, sinful, daring to suggest that women are treated unequally, etc etc etc.  Because once you're in and experienced (and Heaven help you if you're a lifer and you should "know better") your free pass goes away?  God suddenly starts caring so much more about what you're wearing... even though we know that God very specifically does not look at the outside.

It calls to mind the many modesty lessons I've been given over the years in which some variation of this question was posed: Would you be ashamed by your clothes if the Lord came back and you had to bow before him?

No.  No I would not.  Not in a turtleneck.  Not in a V-neck.  Not in a skirt.  Not in pants.  Not naked as the day I was born.  Never unless my heart was out of place, and not even then because I know that is why I have a Savior who loves me enough never to shame me.  Instead, he suffered and died for me, to cover me with His grace and make Him and I at-one.  Where there is God-like love, there is no shame; Where there is shame, there is no God-like love.

Therefore, I'm going to wear pants to church on Sunday and speak as my father's High Council companion about the spirit of Christmas and radical love.

Good

I've pondered two questions for years, long before I ever questioned my faith:

1. What makes a "good person"?
2. What makes a "good Mormon"?

Pirates of the Caribbean brought up the first one, yea so many years ago.  Is he a pirate?  Is he a good man?  Wait, he's BOTH!  (...What?)

Good men wear good hats, Disney says.  

What exactly makes a person good?  What makes Jack Sparrow "good" (besides being wickedly funny and brilliant and mad and mostly loyal to those that are mostly loyal to him)?  Robbery, lying, cheating, sword fights, chases, escapes, murder, revenge, impersonation of a cleric of the Church of England...  I heart Jack Sparrow, but not necessarily because he's any version of "good".  So what is it?  At what point does a person stop being good?  After a dire mistake?  An intentional breach of integrity or contract?  Dishonesty?  Infidelity?  Money laundering for the mob?  Stealing aid money and sticking it in your own pocket?  Leading an expedition that resulted in the enslavement and genocide of thousands (pick a favorite historical example, there's plenty)?  Cheating in high school?

Likewise, when does a Mormon stop being "good"?  When he runs for President and can't seem to say the same thing twice in a row and favors policies that alienate half of humanity and/or his aspired constituents?  (I'm lookin' at you, Mittens.  I personally think you are a sucky Mormon and a sucky human being.  So there.)  After the first sip of alcohol/tea/coffee?  After the first act of pre/extramarital sex?  After not going to church for three months?  After not wearing garments for a week straight?  After stealing?  After not comforting someone in need of comfort?  After being involved in romantic relationships with multiple women at the same time who don't know about each other while you're telling the world you're going to the temple?  After questioning a policy or practice, either out of rebellion or feelings of discord with personal values?  Rebellion itself?

I don't have the answers to these questions.  I don't know where the lines are drawn in the sand, though I suspect they would be perceived differently by everyone that looks at them regardless of where they were.  People are complex.  Life is complex.  Politics are complex.  There is always a mixture of good and bad, an opposition in all things.  Given that, it seems prudent to follow the admonition of our Lord, and judge not, lest we be judged.

Malala Yousufzai is of good report and praiseworthy

Like another 14 year-old dear to many of my readers, Malala said a lot of things that people around her hated and disagreed with but that she unequivocally believed to be true and in need of being said.  She, too, was shot for her words and actions.  The difference is that Malala spoke out against the Taliban.  And today she's an inspiration to me.

May she and her family and her readers be blessed.

*SPAZSPAZSPAZSPAZSPAZ*

*flaps arms and hands, runs around in crazy circles*

I'M GOING TO THE CLASS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE!!! "HAMPSHIRE" IS A HARD WORD TO KEEP TYPING AS I SPAZ ACROSS THE INTERWEBS!  AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*faints!*

So excited!!!!!

Finding passion again

I went to Arizona with mixed emotions.  I was glad for an opportunity to advance my knowledge. I was grateful to Providence for dropping the means of coming into my lap by way of a new client buying a package for the exact amount I needed. I was happy to be taking a class I'd been wanting to attend for several years. This was a great thing.

I also came with some feelings of intimidation and trepidation. I've done a lot of things I "wanted to do for years" in recent times, paid for Providentially, followed my old dreams and plans to try to make them work, only to find Beijing would change when I returned home. I'd find some roadblock to stop me, and I felt stagnant and bored and directionless. I felt obliged, though, to take the class since it was paid for with an additional promise of referred clients.  This was all compounded by the fact that this was only a prerequisite course; it was only Self Care and would not allow me to practice on or teach anyone else.  The course required for that was sparsely available and would cost over $2000 to take, plus travel expenses.  For a woman feeling like she was forever destined to poverty unless she pulled off a Lizzie Bennet or Marianne Dashwood, that felt like a nearly insurmountable bit of trouble that may or may not prove to be worthwhile to her professional career.

Something changed that first day of class, though. My flesh caught on fire from the inside out. I felt the Calling in my bones, in my muscles and nerves and skin and hair.  My blood raced and I thought I shone like a candle. It seared away my stagnation. I received purpose and passion again. It was as though I could firewalk out of my skin and up to the doors of Heaven, there to be received and instructed by the hands of God Herself in this healing art.

The drive never left faded, only settled deeper, dampening into my bones, becoming one with my flesh.  I needed to know everything afresh, review material I’d known for years, soak up information I had never before received.  I wanted to dance, I wanted to sing, I needed to soar, the step off the dark cliff into the chasm and feel the air rush past my wings.  But how?  How could I possibly manage it?  Already deep in debt, and the next class thousands of dollars...  The next step truly would be one into the dark, into the deep.

I stepped, and found a ledge: a virtual stranger I’ve met once in my life was willing to loan me the money.  Somehow, miraculously, the money was available.  I gave thanks for her kindness and spent a week in contemplation.  Would the feeling go away?  Was this foolish?  It was a lot of money and I don’t have much of my own.  Debt can be dangerous and I don’t have a safety net.  I’m struggling to pay off my credit cards!  This is insane.  That doesn’t change the fact that I need to do it, though, and a way has been provided.

I did back off a little on the loan request, though, opting instead to seek donations from friends and family to help make up the difference.  That will make repayment more manageable for me as I work this new therapy into my spa offerings and coordinate with other care providers for referrals. This should make life a bit more manageable over the coming months. So far, I've been thrilled by the response, and I hope people will keep up the support.  Whatever it takes, though, I will be following this dream, following this path, following this new-kindled passion.