Pants: Still a scandal in 2012.

1 Samantha 16:7
7 But the Lady said unto Samantha, Look not on her appearance, or on the manner of her attire ... for the Lady seeth not as mortals seeth; for mortals looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lady looketh on the heart.

You know, I've seen women wear pants to church numerous times over the years.  It hasn't been often, but it has happened.  When I was young, it always surprised me but I never commented.  The women always looked appropriate and put together.  Granted, I live in a very liberal area of the US that has a reputation for bucking tradition and the ward I grew up in was very loving and open, but the prevailing winds within the Mormon community have still leaned heavily to skirts and dresses.  However, pants were not looked down upon, to the best of my knowledge, beyond a few surprised expressions before everyone got on with their day.  Investigators and new members have generally been given a pass to wear whatever they want or have.

That being said, you wouldn't think this event would cause much of a ruckus, but the Event page on Facebook has been slammed by many orthodox members of the Church (and some random non-member trolls) for being disrespectful, sinful, daring to suggest that women are treated unequally, etc etc etc.  Because once you're in and experienced (and Heaven help you if you're a lifer and you should "know better") your free pass goes away?  God suddenly starts caring so much more about what you're wearing... even though we know that God very specifically does not look at the outside.

It calls to mind the many modesty lessons I've been given over the years in which some variation of this question was posed: Would you be ashamed by your clothes if the Lord came back and you had to bow before him?

No.  No I would not.  Not in a turtleneck.  Not in a V-neck.  Not in a skirt.  Not in pants.  Not naked as the day I was born.  Never unless my heart was out of place, and not even then because I know that is why I have a Savior who loves me enough never to shame me.  Instead, he suffered and died for me, to cover me with His grace and make Him and I at-one.  Where there is God-like love, there is no shame; Where there is shame, there is no God-like love.

Therefore, I'm going to wear pants to church on Sunday and speak as my father's High Council companion about the spirit of Christmas and radical love.

Malala Yousufzai is of good report and praiseworthy

Like another 14 year-old dear to many of my readers, Malala said a lot of things that people around her hated and disagreed with but that she unequivocally believed to be true and in need of being said.  She, too, was shot for her words and actions.  The difference is that Malala spoke out against the Taliban.  And today she's an inspiration to me.

May she and her family and her readers be blessed.

Every act of defiance against the violence of patriarchy (rape, assault, devaluation, misogeny, etc.) is an act of the Wild Woman.

For the Strength of You've gotta be kidding me

Today was awesome.  Okay, today was a mixed bag, some of which was good and some of which... well.  See title.

First things first: Last night I went to bed on the wings of the most sincere and intentional prayer I've made that wasn't full of blubbering in the past few months.  I decided that, as my 31st birthday gift to myself, I will have someone to snog at midnight on New Year's.  I don't care if it's a good friend (HA!), a random date, a steady boyfriend, or somewhere in between, but there will be someone and I will snog him.  There will be snogging and it will--hopefully-be glorious, and I'm praying and putting out intentions for it to happen.  Snog ahoy!  So that was nice and I felt good when I went to sleep.  Huzzah, prayer!

I got up, got made up, and went to church, fully intending to attend all three hours on purpose.  Part of this was because I'm barely going to be at my YSA ward for the rest of the month since I'll be elsewhere with my siblings pretty much every weekend.  Also, my ward got a new Bishopric, and I wanted to bid farewell to the old guard (but mostly their wives) and welcome the new.  Thirdly, I think I feel ready to return to activity.  I think.  Today kinda pissed me off.  Sacrament was fine, Sunday School was okay, but Relief Society...

Let me preface by saying that I love my Relief Society Presidency.  They're wonderful, smart, intelligent, independent, strong women and they work very hard.  I trust that if there are things they feel they need to emphasize, there's a reason, even if that reason may or may not apply to me all the time.  That being said... Why?  Why are we being given copies of the new For the Strength of Youth pamphlet?  That little book has at least doubled in thickness from the last time I got it in Young Women's over twelve years ago, and while I appreciate most of its content and the purpose it has for teenagers, there is nothing in it that's meant to be appropriate for anyone of an age where college, career, mission and post-mission, serious dating, engagement, marriage, housing, travel, and other concerns of adult life are at hand.  It is made for teenagers, not young adults, not for people who may have degrees and businesses and bills and probably debt.

I appreciate the Presidency's desire to "get back to basics", to remind people of the simple principles of the Gospel.  That's wonderful!  I back that up entirely.  But, shockingly, my hemlines and hairstyle are not in that category.  That's right, we talked through "Dress and Appearance".  And "Sexual Purity".  Of course.  Of freakin' course.  It's not a proper flashback to Young Women's without them!  We were even introduced to the Head-Shoulders-Kness-and-Toes of Modesty:  Touch your head to make sure your midriff doesn't show, be sure your shoulders are covered and your hemline is to or near your knees, and touch your toes to make sure your cleavage doesn't pop out.  Yes, we reverted to Preschool as adult women in order to measure how covered we are.  There were a few comments made about men's inferiority in the realms of thought/desire control, and one girl who apparently gets pissed at other women for dressing immodestly when they're in proximity to her fiance because they're tempting him and making him think bad things.  I had a very hard time staying in my seat and in the room.  I was not disappointed in my prediction that someone would pull out this gem...

Sister: (paraphrase)  With the rise and prevalence of pornography in the world, we have to realize that when we dress immodestly or inappropriately, we basically become porn for the boys.
Me: *And there it is.  Hand up*
Teacher:  *thoughtful murmur* That's true.  Jena?
Me: [At this point I feel like I entered an altered state of mind/reality.  My brain does not usually jump in so quickly or forcefully, I don't typically raise my voice in church or stare daggers at teachers, and I rarely feel like I'm about to firewalk out of my body...]  No, it's not true!  Pornography is a product.  We cannot be pornography because women are people not products.  [I wish that I had continued with someone along the lines of how it's sexist to think that men are less capable or desirous of controlling themselves than women and that we ought to expect them to pull their own weight instead of heaping the burden upon women, etc. but the teacher looked startled and I felt like I was about to burst into flames, so I sat back and let her move on to someone else's comment.]

I may have just outed myself as a radical.  Oh noes.  The idea is a little freeing; I can gradually quit pretending I'm normal.  Sigh, I'm going to be one of those "crazy Mormons" who's really only crazy to other Mormons.  What a lovely introduction to me for my new Bishop's wife!

I love my ward family and my Church family.  I love the Gospel and often I even love the institution of the Church.  Nevertheless, sometimes I look around and think, "This place is totally insane and we are all nuts."  Mostly it's just people doing their level best, but sometimes level best is weird or age inappropriate.  Trying to improve that is one of the primary reasons I remain these days.  Someday, I want to help rewrite the way we talk and think about these things.  I hope that I made a small difference in the mindset of someone in that room today by declaring that womanhood is personhood.

Celebrating my feminista

I got asked tonight if I'm a feminist.


Best question ever. :D


So just in case anyone missed the memo: Yes, I am a feminist.

• I believe absolutely in the equal rights of men and women.
• I believe the genitalia and/or DNA any person possesses should neither entitle nor disenfranchise.
• I believe in respecting those who are different and protecting and uplifting those who are downtrodden.
• I do not hate men nor do I want to be exactly like one; I glory in my personal female identity.
• I work toward the day when femaleness and maleness are regarded with identical amounts of respect because of humanness.

Additionally...

• I believe absolutely in the right of anyone to be different.
• I believe that biological sex and expressed gender are spectra; everyone is a mix of male and female traits, genes, and tissues.
• I believe that what diminishes one, diminishes all.  What uplifts one, uplifts all.

And you should check out this link: Snopes--Red Hot Mamas (The truth about "bra-burning" feminists.)

Eternal perspectives

I have two things to talk about: My Mom, and men.

Mom

The way I miss her isn't the way I thought I'd miss her.  I went to visit her grave tonight for the first time since her memorial............. has it only been three weeks?  Damn.  It feels... longer.  Much longer.  And that's the thing.  It's like I've entered a new life since her death.  Rather than living a singular life in which there is now this gaping, unfilled hole left left behind in the mortal absence of my mother, another lifetime began in which she simply isn't physically present.

It's a little like moving away from home.  The memories of home are still with you when you move away, you still love it, it's still the root of everything you do and everything you are and ever will be; but you are in another place now, and in effect, another time.  You have another purpose, and while you will always and forever love your home, this new space you're in is the right space to be.  There's a feeling of being homesick, of thinking back on the life that was, but being present in the life that is.

I think that's why I haven't been feeling as devastated as I had anticipated.  As a family, we released Mom, because it was the right thing to do and the right time for her to go.  We told her it was okay.  There's no sense of unfinished business: nothing left unsaid, nothing left undone, no injustice in her passing.  She completed her purpose on this Earth, and it was okay.

Granted, I am loudly sobbing and crying my eyes out as I'm typing this, but I'm also laughing at myself a little because I am typing while I'm wailing loud enough to make me glad my nearest neighbors are a few hundred yards away.  It's just release.  I'm super practical when it comes to letting it out, and even though I likely sound to the world like I'm an emotional mess, it's mostly physical.  Inside, I'm pretty peaceful.  And now I'm done crying.  It just needed to get out.

(Tangent: Mom's buried next to a guy that was in my class in high school who died in a car accident between our Junior and Senior years.  Always wear your seat belts.  Just saying.)

Men


A large part of my reason for being a feminist is a strong belief and hope for equality.  When I find this running up against the strong cultural dogma of male superiority in Mormonism  (however benevolent its stewardship may supposed to be) it puts me in some dismay about the eternal order of things as we're presented with them.

I have a really big, freaking problem thinking that two equally worthy, covenant-making-and-keeping people, bound together for eternity would be bound to being anything but equivalent to each other for eternity.  If it's not so, I have to look forward to eternity as Second in Command, instead of Co-Captain.  Eternity.  Forever.  Without end.  Never, ever, ever ending second citizenship.


How is that just?  How is that good?  How can that be acceptable and justifiable based upon the relative femininity or masculinity of an individual if all are alike unto God and God is no respecter of persons?  How can being (a beloved and cherished) Second for the rest of all out-of-time be okay?  It cannot.  It cannot be okay.  A man wouldn't stand for that being his lot, yet it's an implied expectation from the women.  Such a concept deeply, deeply disturbs me, to think that I could bust my butt through this super critical mortal probation we're all in, perhaps even out-righteous my Hypothetical Husband, and still end up as the Silent Partner, the Heavenly Mother that never talks to Her children and whom Her children are discouraged from addressing.  I find that idea incredibly unappealing, and it puts me in a position to wonder whether the effort is worthwhile if I have no guarantee of autonomy and personal worth outside the man I'm married to, forever.  This a big scary question for a woman who has been pretty dang invested in aiming for goddesshood her entire life.  So I have to think that we really just don't have the whole picture yet, that there's more, that the equality of the sexes will be seen as a central point of eternal doctrine at some time in the future, may Heaven make it soon.

But what if... what if I'm wrong.  What if God moves in (to me) truly mind-boggling and seemingly hypocritical, unjust, mysterious ways and eternity is sexist?  What if being more feminine than masculine lands you a spot just behind the shoulder of your more masculine eternal companion, to be protected and shielded and effectively silenced because you're somehow more sacred than anything else?  It's an idea that sickens me to my stomach, and the only way I can conceive of it being a tolerable system is if I could find a man who would not treat me as anything but an equal.  Where any "head"ship would be in token only, and irrelevant in practice.  If he must have the title, he can have the title, but that's all I could tolerate.  If I had to. If that's really the eternal order of things.

I don't think it is, though.  It just doesn't make sense.

Waxing poetic.

Just a couple apples falling from the brain tree this evening...

Chivalry is dead--so let it lie.

And let male feminists arise.

~ ~ ~

Goddess give me the strength not to socialize my daughters to be "nice".  Strong, kind, fair-minded, responsible, compassionate, and just, yes; but never "nice".  Nice makes you a doormat, even when you're being wronged.  Nice doesn't make a fuss when a fuss needs to be made.  Nice makes you doubt your better judgment and squash your intuition because others might be inconvenienced by your truth.  Nice does not a heroine make.

I want the Priesthood, too.

And shouldn't I?

Boys are raised in the Church to want it.  To aspire to it.  To expect it.  They are expected to live in such a way that they have it conferred upon them at the age of twelve so that they can begin to administer and serve.  That expectation, that aspiration is considered a wonderful thing, a great thing.  Not a sin, not a power grab, not an itching to rule the world or exercise rule over others.  In fact, I'm not aware of any time when that's an idea ever put out in the open.  And yet, adult women who want as much (or more) authority as a pubescent boy are cast as unfaithful villains instead of anxious workers in the cause of Christ.

What?

I was listening to a Mormon Stories episode on the way to the temple earlier today.  The interview featured the man who started Agitating Faithfully, Dane Laverty, a site that collects names of women and men who support the implementation of gender equality in the Church.  Dane said something that really struck me as he was describing the inspiration for the site name.  The context begins about 28:39 and he rambles for a bit, but then he says this:

[President Hinckley's] response wasn't, "We don't have revelation for that."  His response wasn't, "The doctrines prevent that from happening."  His response was just, "We don't hear anyone in the Church asking.  We don't hear any movement in the Church for women to be priests."  And so the way I read that is, "Yes, we'd be more than happy if we found the need for women to be priests, if we found that there was a desire out there for women to be priests, that's something that could happen; but we're not seeing that desire, so it's just not an issue that we're going to address right now."

And he's right, in a way.  Granted, President Hinckley was an extremely shrewd media personality, and the way he answers moves all responsibility for the inequality to the membership, rather than the leadership.  I will let my readers think of that what they will and move on.  There isn't agitation, or at least not very much.  There is anti-agitation, as with so much about the Church, the large and disapproving fraction of the population who insists on things the way they are and that they're perfect and wonderful and we shouldn't want one thing that the Lord doesn't hand down to us from the Throne of Heaven itself.

Doctrine and Covenants 58:26  For it is not meet that I should command in all things; for s/he who is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and an unwise servant; wherefore s/he receiveth no reward

 Hm.  Well, that's problematic.

 27 Verily I say, wo/men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

 28 For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as wo/men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.

 29 But s/he that doeth not anything until s/he is commanded, and receiveth a commandment with doubtful heart, and keepeth it with slothfulness, the same is damned.

So, if an Earth-rocking revelation were unveiled between 9:15 and 9:30 AM PDT by President Monson, unveiling the nature, power, and duties of Heavenly Mother, and commanding that women be ordained to the Priest(ess)hood, beginning immediately and would President Beck and her Counselors please come forward so they can be sustained and ordained... how many brethren, how many sisters would be prepared to sustain President Beck in her ordination?    How many would get up and leave, and never return to the Church?  It's a sobering thought.

But how many would cheer?  How many would offer their heads to have hands laid upon them?  How many are prepared to receive, when we put so much emphasis on it being wrong to even want the Priesthood because we are women?  I do believe it will happen, I believe it will happen in my lifetime, even if I have to live to the age of 100 to see it.  I believe it just as much and as surely as I believe we will learn more about Mother, but as a people, we must be prepared to receive, and I feel that we generally are not.  We have shot ourselves in the foot by insisting that we don't care about or want these things.  We are limiting the spirit of revelation in the name of conservation.

A quick sampling of things I've commonly heard about women not having Priesthood, generally from women...
It's so much more work!  Why would you/we want that?
--Why do the men want it?  Don't many hands make light work?  Is our only work really only supposed to be among our husbands and children?  I'm off the hook!  Awesome!  ...except that I want to serve. In the past several years, there have been numerous Conference talks praising the sisters for their hard work and encouraging them to greater heights of service.  I've heard many women groaning under the strain, though.  There's only so far people can be encouraged before there's nothing else they can do.  If the Priesthood gives power to do the work of the Gospel more effectively, it would be a mercy and a help to everyone to ordain women.

I hold the Priesthood when I hug/dance with my husband.
--You married the physical embodiment of the Power of God?!  Holy crap!  Oh, you meant that you married a person who has been ordained to the Priesthood.  Gotcha.  Wouldn't it be nice if your husband could say the same thing, though?  Also, once again, this is discriminatory.  I, as an unmarried woman with no children, don't have the option of hugging a husband.  Eventually, I won't have the option of hugging my father, either.  Please stop using such an exclusive platitude.  It gives no value or power at all to women like me.

Women don't miss out on any of the blessings of the Priesthood.
--This has always required considerable mental gymnastics for me, even years before I considered myself a feminist, but I went with it for a long time.  I mean, the absence of a worthy Priesthood holder can be circumvented if necessary; I've done it, but how many women (or children) know how to do it?  It isn't something you'll find in a lesson manual.  What if circumvention was unnecessary because women and girls received ordination and advancement just like men?
Even if we don't miss out on any blessings, saying so would come off in a much more genuine way if we also didn't miss out on the cultural benefits and respect that come with administration and authority that men enjoy while they're about the same Work women are.


I know that there are many women out there who genuinely don't want to be ordained and that's okay.  For most of my life, I didn't either.  It wasn't until I realized that ordination made sense to me that I said "Okay, I understand.  Yes, we should be ordained."  That wasn't even until after working in the temple.  I wish I had understood better during my time there that the day I was Endowed, I left with the same Priesthood potential as any man, short only the formality of laying on hands.  I held and exercised religious authority there to perform ordinances.  I wielded Priesthood, as do tens of thousands of women working in temples worldwide, and the Church hasn't collapsed; in fact, it relies on female Priesthood users to do proxy work for the dead.  The only difference is that it doesn't happen outside the temple in every day life to do the work of living.

Why?

I want to serve.  I want to work.  I want authority and power to be more effective in the Church and in living the Gospel and to be taken seriously.  This is my little agitation.  This is my Yea vote.  This is my siding with women and men to whom ordination for all worthy Saints makes sense.  I also want the Priesthood.

(Happy Mother Fast Day!)

Outside the Garden

Perhaps the Devil replaced the symbol of feminine wisdom in the Eden story because life is a Hell of a lot harder once there's choices to be made.

I hate to say it because I feel a little ungrateful  after yesterday's sublime gift of timing, but that was the best I got out of the visiting authorities.  Both of their talks last night and this morning were... discouraging and unsettling.  I don't feel like going into details, but suffice it to say that if there's a hint of purposeful delaying of marriage and children, or a wife who doesn't follow her husband because he's the patriarch(y) in the household, or if you are an inch less than all on board with supporting only traditional marriage, you've been corrupted by the world and Satan.  It was pure Correlation speech, with little to no room for personal revelation, opinion, or need.  I think my question about Mother was the only thing either of them talked about that wasn't based primarily in "follow the Prophet/Priesthood, get in line, be good."

Okay, that's all slightly exaggerated because I was so taken aback by how put off I was.  Also, they did talk about personal revelation, but it was 99.9% (addressing me being the .1%) to do with their process of receiving revelation about the new Stake President.  That's wonderful!  I am glad to be assured of the revelatory process in our lay clergy, I truly, honestly am.  Nevertheless, I was really encouraged by at least portions of Elder Anderson's talk last Conference when he reaffirmed that decisions of when and how many children to have are between couples and the Lord, secondary to even prophetic advice, and to have the subject hit upon three or four times, while talking about how the men have the Priesthood and leadership responsibilities while women stay home and manage the affairs...  it bothers me, anymore.  We're not stewards over our husband's property while he's out doing God's work.  We are God's work!  With our husbands, not in spite of them.  Teamwork, not periodic couplehood!  Yes, I'm upset about it.  Talks like this make me feel like I'm less likely to find a man who will see and treat me as equal to him.

Of course, this was topped off with the obligatory bone-throw to the singles and the childless.  "You'll get the blessings eventually."  Thank you!  I had forgotten about that... that one thing that gives my flat-lined love life/death a hint of purpose.  That thing I must cling to if I'm to be a righteous LDS woman.  I had forgotten, because it's not ever-present when the subject comes up, and I'm not painfully aware that I'm not a member of the married-with-kids club.

Gragh.

All that said... for once, I was genuinely unimpressed by the words of leadership.  For once, I really disagreed and found myself in a Correlation Conundrum.  I'm certain this will not be the last time I face this situation.  I do like the new Stake Presidency, though, and I'm grateful for the former Presidency.  They were really wonderful, and I have high hopes that this new trio will carry the torch of awesome.

To end on a lighter note, I would like to take a moment to brag on my former Stake President.  I've known and loved the man for years.  He was my Stake Mission Leader when I was a Stake missionary... for three weeks before he was called to be President.  I was well acquainted with him before that through my Dad, and I was excited to see him called.  Over the years, he and his four counselors (one moved, one died--and he is still deeply missed and lovingly remembered, but that's another story) have done great amounts of good from what I've observed.  The President joined an interfaith coalition of local leaders an representatives of many faiths and built bridges and got to know them well.  He spoke openly of and acknowledged Heavenly Mother in at least one, possibly two meetings I attended.  When he and his wife were interviewed by Elder Oaks when he was called, and Elder Oaks gave him 20 minutes to choose his Counselors, he didn't need the whole time, but most remarkably... he told Elder Oaks that his wife would always be his first Counselor.  And she was.  Following that line, when he came to the singles ward to conduct the last Bishopric change, he said, speaking of the departing trio and advising the incoming, "The brethren are better prepared when they have the advice of their wives."  He has been a great example of equality and honoring women alongside men.

I pray that will continue with our new President and his Counselors, and that it will spread.

I should probably get over it

I have just one very clear memory of being told, though in not so many words, "There is no power in women."

I was in an Institute class back in 2005.  I believe we were discussing the story of Eden, and something in the conversation--probably related to Eve--prompted me to comment about how in the relationship I had left the year before, my ex-fiance had treated me in such a way that he denied my rights and power as a woman.  I didn't want to go into much detail over the abuses that had been laid upon me, the unrighteous dominion he had attempted to enforce, and the downright criminal acts he had committed against me.  (Those are stories for another day, another post.)  The subject was still raw and vivid in my mind, and much of it was too personal to air at that time.

I've never forgotten the look on the teacher's face as I said that, though.  It was that "I hate to disagree with you, but I can't endorse what you're saying."

"I'm a woman, too, but men are the leaders."

"He may have been doing it poorly, but men have the authority."

"I sympathize with your pain, but women have no authority.  We have no rights to power."

I can understand the somewhat awkward position my statement put her in as an instructor, particularly in a setting involving her responsibility to teach the traditional story of Eden in a prescribed manner, but that look.  That look.  That look that said she was scrambling in her head for what to say to keep the discussion from getting too dangerous, too blasphemous, too feminist.  To keep it from deviating too far toward addressing the inequalities women are subjected to on a daily basis, or addressing the uncomfortable reality that abuse of all kinds can be and is perpetrated by members of the Church, just as it is in every human society or culture.  That wasn't the point of the lesson, after all.

I don't remember what she said exactly, but I remember how it translated; Of course men should respect and honor women, but as women, we have no power of our own.

It makes me cringe just to write that sentence, just as my heart withered a little inside me when it happened.  I love and respect this woman to this day, but in that moment, our sisterhood was betrayed.  Our solidarity as women was dented a little bit.  She stood up for patriarchy and her lesson material, instead of hearing what I was saying and acknowledging that what I did explain of what my ex did was wrong.  She did not stand with me, and she denied an opportunity for the class to expand themselves.

I know it's a small thing, and I know I will forgive her.  Like the title says, I need to get over it.  Now that I'm acknowledging that feeling and recognizing it for what it is, I finally can work on it.  I can dampen, silence the echoing words, "Women have no power."  I knew it was a falsehood then.  My heart rebelled against the very idea.  I know it even better now.  Women have tremendous power... but that's another post, too.

Scriptures that inform my Feminism #1

As mentioned, a lot of the reasons I declare myself a Feminist are founded in my faith and spirituality.  In this first of what I hope to be many posts in a series, here are a few verses that inform the way I feel about feminism, faith, roles and relations of the sexes, and why I think the way I do about them.

Bolded emphases are my own.

Doctrine and Covenants 121

 36  That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness.

 37  That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.  [...]

 39  We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.

 40  Hence many are called, but few are chosen.

 41  No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

In other words, holding the Priesthood doesn't automatically make a man the leader in a given situation, just because he's the Priesthood holder.  (I'm not even touching gender roles at the moment.)  Having been on course to marry a very poor example of a Priesthood holder, these verses have brought me a lot of validation and peace as a woman that God does not expect me to put up with nor put myself under unrighteous dominion.

Proverbs 31: 10-31  (Cherry-picked for the sake of brevity, but do read the link and take it as a unit.)

10  Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. [...]
25  Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26  She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.[...]
31  Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

I think Proverbs 31 is an awesome example of not only a righteous woman, but a woman with intelligence, skill, drive, and ambition.  Her presence improves her community; her industry improves the situation of herself and her family.  She is strong; "virtue" can refer not only to purity and holiness, but also to power, strength, or authority. And while being the do-it-all Superwoman is a topic for another post, I love the concurrent themes of faithful womanhood, motherhood, and the marriage of two equally honorable partners

How the LDS Church grew this Feminist

I was inadvertently raised to become a Feminist, and my faith is a large part of how that happened.

Among Christian traditions, I have to say that the LDS Church makes some of the best efforts of which I'm aware to show respect to women, and to honor our Mother Eve and Heavenly Mother.  Things may not get done perfectly and the damaging effects of patriarchy still exist, but I grew up hearing that even though She's not talked about much, She is there, and while the idea that she's "too sacred to be discussed" to be completely groundless, she is revered as being sacred.  Eve's choice in the Garden is respected as a glorious one without which we could not exist or progress (see third section "Great Blessings...")  I was told that if no Priesthood holder was present, I could call upon the authority of one with stewardship over me and exercise it in an hour of need if I was worthy.

The Young Women programs (MIA, Camp, etc.) taught me that I was the daughter of God, that I had a divine nature and individual worth.  I entered the oldest women's organization in the world at age 18 and began learning how to relate to women of many ages and life stages and circumstances.  In Young Women, Especially For Youth, Institute, and Relief Society, I was told repeatedly that any man who said I had to do anything (marrying him was usually the example given, but other things were included) "because he held the Priesthood" was in the wrong, that I had an immutable right to my own revelation, and the right to tell him to shove it.  (I don't remember who I heard say it, but someone along the way suggested that any man who proposed by saying he'd received a revelation that we should marry should be rejected.  In a letter.  Mailed Second Class.) (Edit: It was Elder Scott at a fireside in Arizona.  (Thanks Jana!)  Elder Scott also delivered a gently scalding reprimand to a young man at that meeting for something he expressed regarding a potential wife, but that's another post.)

A feminist foundation is present and alive in the Church, even if construction of an equitable living space upon it is slow. It was because of that foundation that I first began to realize my feminism, the reason I grew up believing that I was personally entitled to access the Divine, and that God loved me no matter what, even if sometimes I didn't feel worthy of it because of my mistakes.  It wasn't until I was an adult that I began to recognize that other women hadn't caught the same half of the vision that I had, or indeed that there were halves to it, or quarters, or any other fraction.  I naively assume that there were the righteous women who knew who they were and attracted good, righteous, kind husbands; and then there were the women on the fringes who didn't know who they were, who felt like they had cause to be angry, worldly, or both, and dated/married losers.

Yeah.  I was one of those.  One of the quietly and lovingly self-righteous, who just hoped she could be Christ-like enough not to let the judgment show through the piety.  Forgive me, Sisters, for I have sinned.  I mean that sincerely.  I truly was naive.

But like Eve, I came to be aware of a certain fruit.  It felt like I had received a commandment not to touch it, not to be like one of those, those.... Feminists.  *gasp!*  (Nice us/them theme going on here, right?  Yeah.)  But Feminism came and made her case.  We carried on a dialogue as I considered the options.  I pondered.  I secretly began to understand.  In time I made my choice and partook of the Forbidden Feminist Fruit.

My eyes were opened and I saw so much more.  I began to understand, to recognize justice and injustice, balance, unity, expansion.  Feminism gave shape and purpose to the foundation the Church had laid for me, and the Church gave my Feminism depth and intricacy. Feminism taught me what the Church hasn't quite gotten around to yet; that I can offer more things to the world than only bearing and rearing the next generation.  The Church taught me that my capacities and traits as a person, as a woman, for change, creation, ambition, determination are eternal and Divine parts of Me.  Several of my Feminist Sisters (and one who doesn't identify as Feminist to my knowledge) have set awesome examples for me of righteous, adventurous, independent, strong women who advocate for a better world, seek out knowledge, build their homes and families, and stand side-by-side with their husbands.

I'm not alone on this path, nor the only one to see newly with these eyes.  More and more women are having their eyes opened; many "mainstream" Mormon women are partaking of this Fruit as our Mother Eve did once before, seeing how unprotected, how naked we have been before the onslaught of misogyny throughout the ages.  I did, and I'm seeing more and more signs of it in those around me.  In fact, I think it is much easier and less traumatic for LDS women to expand and adapt their identities and thought patterns into Feminism than many--if not most--faith traditions under the Abrahamic umbrella.  There is a broad range of experience of course, as with anything, but by our tenets and the things we uphold, I do think it's less of a leap than a hop to bridge the gap.  We have the foundation.

Don't be afraid if you find yourself or someone you know waking up to the inner Feminist, though it is not without controversy or difficulty.  Neither was the choice made in Eden.  We change and thereby our worlds change, but the more of us at the "core" who expand ourselves to include the "margins", the less they will be margins: the greater understanding , the more common ground and solidarity as a people we will have.  The wider and deeper we water the tree of Zion, the stronger and deeper its roots, the more nourishment the body will receive.

We are the roots and the watering can together.  We are the ones who make and drive change.  We are, as Harriett Beecher Stowe famously said, the real architects of society.

My name is Jena, and I'm a

 

Happy Pioneer Day!