Perceptions of Deity

I'll be the first person to confess that what I'm about to say is probably not at all original in that I know there are many books out there about how we perceive Deity.  I also have to confess that I have read all of... possibly none of those books.  I keep meaning to pick up Mother Wove the Morning and The Dance of the Dissident Daughter at the recommendations of people whose opinions I respect (if only I could get them on my Kindle app...) but I just haven't, and I can't recall ever having picked up anything really but scripture and maybe Church manuals, so I'm coming here from a place of intellectually knowing I'm not alone, but never having formally seen "Oh hey, we're thinking the same thing."  I don't know why I feel the need to qualify what I'm posting with all that, but moving onward.

Growing up, I knew God was my Father and Christ was my Brother, and I knew there was a Mother in there somewhere but I didn't know anything about her except that She existed, but we're not supposed to pray to Her or really talk about her--at least those are the messages I got.  I was nine in 1991 when a particular talk was given by then-First Counselor President Hinckley regarding Heavenly Mother, so I wasn't really at an age where I was thinking too deeply about things, and certainly not up for exploring or challenging anything; it simply wasn't a manifested part of my personality at that time.  I really longed for Her, but I didn't really feel that I had any way of exploring or pushing that, and I accepted for years that I'd just have to wait to learn more, always having the belief and the faith that I would learn more as time went on.  I knew She was there, even without any idea of what to do with that knowledge.  I knew God had a physical body.  I knew God loved me.  I knew God was there for me, had expectations of me, wanted me to be obedient, but had also provided a way to make it right when I wasn't.

In spite of the intellectual knowledge, in my mind, God was somewhere up in the sky, invisible, vaporous, without any facial expression besides benevolent approval and kindliness or disappointment and disapproval.  My imagination really failed me there, coupled with a... well, a somewhat frightened unwillingness to actively entertain anything that wasn't (to me) straight down the middle of the strait and narrow.  Insert a comment about faith vs. fear here.

Since starting this blog and joining in discussions with friends about Heavenly Mother, exposure to the work of Shiloh Sophia McCloud and several other things that have come along in the past few months, I've started thinking more about our eternal and divine natures as children of deity.  Given how prominent assurances are in our teachings that we have potential to become like God ourselves, does it not seem strange that very rarely--possibly never--do I hear anyone in a Sunday School of Relief Society lesson extend that idea into "What will we be like as gods and goddesses?" and then turn it back to "Now, what do you think God is like?"  (And I know I've never heard Goddess included in a sentence like that in a lesson.)  But why not? Indeed, if a man cannot be exalted outside the everlasting covenant of marriage, would not the whole thing collapse without her? That's kind of important, don't you think?

I know some would come back with the gem "It's not critical to your salvation."  Yeah, well neither is emergency preparedness or homemaking and we spend plenty of time on expounding upon the virtues of those.  Neither is serving a full-time mission when you really break it down.  There are a lot of things that aren't "critical" to our salvation; in fact everything outside of making baptismal covenants and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost by proper authority, repentance, and enduring to the end is outside of that "critical" realm of salvation from sin (see here, fourth paragraph.)  I would say even temple covenants aren't critical to salvation.  However, they are critical to eternal exaltation (as mentioned in the final paragraph of the previous link, and which I am separating as a concept; though they're often used interchangeably, they are not the same) and exaltation is a much broader topic than salvation, and isn't it really what we have in mind when we talk about everything else of an eternal nature in the Gospel?  So yes, I would say that knowledge of who my Mother is, what she is, and what she's like is critical to my exaltation, because She is who I am going to be.  She is my example  I deeply and sincerely love my elder Brother, Jesus, and I am grateful every day for the Atonement, and he is an excellent example in living life and serving others and getting back Home, but I am unaware of any instance of Him turning to the women, and directly saying, "Thus saith the Lady, your Mother, what kind of women ought ye to be?  Verily, even as She is."  I will follow the principles I've been given of love/charity, faith, honor, virtue, honesty, integrity, and all the rest to the ends of the Earth, but I'm aiming higher than leading a good enough life not to go to Hell, and I'd like a little more information on what I'm going to become. Yes, there will be ample time to learn in the eternities, but "if a [woman] gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through [her] diligence and obedience than another, [she] will have so much the advantage in the world to come." (D&C 130:19)

I'm getting side-tracked: back on topic.  Perceptions of Deity.  So we don't get a lot of direction or even discussion about this topic of "What are Father and Mother actually like?" and I was left with this flowing glare of white in place of bodied deities.  Problematic, to say the least.  How does one relate to that as being one's Parent?  As I've pondered the matter over the past few days, the following came to my mind.

The Gods are not blanks of "justice and/or mercy", only dealing out blessings and curses as They see fit.  Nor are they featureless or without expression, a monotone and monochromatic field of dogma-made-flesh.  They are Father and Mother, with individualities, personalities, each with their own, separate eternities of life experience, and a unified purpose to glorify and exalt their children.  Each is mighty, omnipotent, and full of love for their children and all creations Their hands have formed.  They are living, loving, intelligent beings of perfect wisdom and understanding.
I believe when they left their own mortal spheres, they yet had many things to learn, with much growth to achieve before they were prepared to be who they are now.  I infer this from the certainty that there is no one, however well-educated, who died knowing everything.  Even a Millenium of righteousness may not be sufficient to teach me how to solve Calculus, as well as to juggle (and it is my understanding that we will be otherwise engaged in proxy work, anyway) or any number of other things that I feel certain the Gods know and understand.  Improvement and progression are a process of change, a process our Parents have experienced and one through which they will guide us.
Our God, our Father has a name and a face.  Our Goddess, our Mother, has a name and a face.  Their eyes have colors, their lips have shape, their bodies have height and weight.  They have voices and favorite turns of phrase.  They each have a laugh, as glorious as the sound of sunrise.  There was a time, when they were mortal, when they had specific gifts and talents that they strove to improve and perfect.  They were us, and we can be them.
When I become Mother, when I am Lady Wisdom, when I am co-creator with my love, I will still have a name and a face.  I will still have a voice and a laugh, and ambitions and dreams.  I will still have vision of my own.  I will still be me, exalted, perfected, the achievement of my immortal potential.  I will be Goddess, too.

This knowledge helps bring Her home for me.  I can imagine her face, I can imagine her smile, I can hope I'll look like her someday.  It also brings Him home.  He loves me.  He speaks to and instructs me.  They relate to me.  They are related to me.  Their very human reality informs my testimony and my destiny, and gives me some perspective on this matter.

How deeply I wish this post wasn't so unusual.  How I wish we talked about this more.