Mother Fast 5: Overcoming Patriarchy

Hello, everyone.  It's that Sunday again.  Keeping on as a reminder of the "official" course of the Fast for this month, here's what I had outlined:

• A growing consciousness of the damages inflicted on humanity by traditions of patriarchy, the system of social, cultural, and religious rule by men to the exclusion and oppression of women and children.

I, however, will not be addressing this one this month in my own private Fast.  After last week's events, I'm instead going to be fasting for the leadership again, specifically the Prophet and the Apostles, that their hearts will be softened and opened to the weight of the people's need for Heavenly Mother, and that they will seek after revelation concerning Her.  I'll be praying that the message I sent with the Seventy will be (or has already been) seriously received and become a matter of pondering and consideration.

Whichever you choose, welcome to another month of sacrifice and dedication in the cause of our Goddess.  Thank you for being with me. :)

Outside the Garden

Perhaps the Devil replaced the symbol of feminine wisdom in the Eden story because life is a Hell of a lot harder once there's choices to be made.

I hate to say it because I feel a little ungrateful  after yesterday's sublime gift of timing, but that was the best I got out of the visiting authorities.  Both of their talks last night and this morning were... discouraging and unsettling.  I don't feel like going into details, but suffice it to say that if there's a hint of purposeful delaying of marriage and children, or a wife who doesn't follow her husband because he's the patriarch(y) in the household, or if you are an inch less than all on board with supporting only traditional marriage, you've been corrupted by the world and Satan.  It was pure Correlation speech, with little to no room for personal revelation, opinion, or need.  I think my question about Mother was the only thing either of them talked about that wasn't based primarily in "follow the Prophet/Priesthood, get in line, be good."

Okay, that's all slightly exaggerated because I was so taken aback by how put off I was.  Also, they did talk about personal revelation, but it was 99.9% (addressing me being the .1%) to do with their process of receiving revelation about the new Stake President.  That's wonderful!  I am glad to be assured of the revelatory process in our lay clergy, I truly, honestly am.  Nevertheless, I was really encouraged by at least portions of Elder Anderson's talk last Conference when he reaffirmed that decisions of when and how many children to have are between couples and the Lord, secondary to even prophetic advice, and to have the subject hit upon three or four times, while talking about how the men have the Priesthood and leadership responsibilities while women stay home and manage the affairs...  it bothers me, anymore.  We're not stewards over our husband's property while he's out doing God's work.  We are God's work!  With our husbands, not in spite of them.  Teamwork, not periodic couplehood!  Yes, I'm upset about it.  Talks like this make me feel like I'm less likely to find a man who will see and treat me as equal to him.

Of course, this was topped off with the obligatory bone-throw to the singles and the childless.  "You'll get the blessings eventually."  Thank you!  I had forgotten about that... that one thing that gives my flat-lined love life/death a hint of purpose.  That thing I must cling to if I'm to be a righteous LDS woman.  I had forgotten, because it's not ever-present when the subject comes up, and I'm not painfully aware that I'm not a member of the married-with-kids club.

Gragh.

All that said... for once, I was genuinely unimpressed by the words of leadership.  For once, I really disagreed and found myself in a Correlation Conundrum.  I'm certain this will not be the last time I face this situation.  I do like the new Stake Presidency, though, and I'm grateful for the former Presidency.  They were really wonderful, and I have high hopes that this new trio will carry the torch of awesome.

To end on a lighter note, I would like to take a moment to brag on my former Stake President.  I've known and loved the man for years.  He was my Stake Mission Leader when I was a Stake missionary... for three weeks before he was called to be President.  I was well acquainted with him before that through my Dad, and I was excited to see him called.  Over the years, he and his four counselors (one moved, one died--and he is still deeply missed and lovingly remembered, but that's another story) have done great amounts of good from what I've observed.  The President joined an interfaith coalition of local leaders an representatives of many faiths and built bridges and got to know them well.  He spoke openly of and acknowledged Heavenly Mother in at least one, possibly two meetings I attended.  When he and his wife were interviewed by Elder Oaks when he was called, and Elder Oaks gave him 20 minutes to choose his Counselors, he didn't need the whole time, but most remarkably... he told Elder Oaks that his wife would always be his first Counselor.  And she was.  Following that line, when he came to the singles ward to conduct the last Bishopric change, he said, speaking of the departing trio and advising the incoming, "The brethren are better prepared when they have the advice of their wives."  He has been a great example of equality and honoring women alongside men.

I pray that will continue with our new President and his Counselors, and that it will spread.

As a woman on fire

 "The Spirit of God like a fire is burning...  The visions and blessings of old are returning, and angels are coming to visit the earth."

I felt the burning of the Spirit tonight as I found myself with the opportunity to be the voice for thousands of women.  I haven't had many experiences so forceful in my life, but there was no mistaking the Spirit when it came and moved me.

We have a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy and an assisting Regional Authority in town this weekend to change our Stake Presidency.  At the end of adult session of Conference tonight, the Seventy gave us about 5 minutes to think of "inspired questions" that he or one of the others on the stand would answer.  He told us that he has a daily opportunity to eat lunch with members of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve at Church headquarters, conversing with them and that he has been on assignment with every Apostle or Prophet for the past 16 years.  He said that he would take the hard ones and the easy ones could be answered by his assistant, the Mission President, or a member of our Stake Presidency.

I knew I had to ask about Mother.


As I was waiting for our thinking time to be over, I had the whole heart racing, hands shaking, sweating Spirit prodding thing going.  I was determined to be first.  When he finally opened it, my hand shot up.  I know I wasn't first in the air, but he called me and the mic came my way.  I stood with racing heart and I asked, "As a woman, "How can I as a woman know who I'm going to become if we know so little about Heavenly Mother, and how can we learn about her?"

I don't think he quite got the eternal scope of the question--or if he did, he didn't address it that way, in my opinion--but his answer was still good.  He talked about consulting Patriarchal Blessings, reading the scriptures to familiarize myself with the voice of the Lord/Spirit, and praying (to Heavenly Father) to know more.  He also spoke about finding little packets of blessings (I liked that) along life's road that would lead and guide me in the right direction.  I was hoping for something grander, personally.  However, when I stepped back from my expectations, I found that the answer given was a confirmation of what I've done and what I'm doing, the direction I'm traveling.  Also, for those out there who may be asking and thinking they're alone, or who are afraid to ask, or who don't even know to ask, I think it was a good intro answer that--if nothing else--might open dialogue and searching.

I was in process of leaving the building after the meeting, when I got this strong feeling to go back.  I almost didn't, but the pull was so strong.  It wasn't a forceful push or a drag, it wasn't a command it was... assurance.  I walked back inside and stuck my head into the chapel.  I looked for him, didn't see him, started to leave again.  Again the feeling came, telling me to go back and keep looking.  I did, but I didn't see him, didn't see him... Finally, I saw him across the room.  Of course, there were a couple doen people chatting between us.  I made my way in his direction, trying to find a path.  I almost stopped to hug a friend of the family, but I said to myself, "No, I'm not here for that," and got through the gym to the opposite foyer.  As I went through the door and looked up, I found myself face to face with the mission president, who said mine was a very good question and shook my hand.  I nearly shook the hand of the Regional Authority but the mission president distracted him.  Just as he was turning back to me, the Seventy approached and shook my hand and thanked me for being present tonight.

I thanked him for coming and I put my hand over his.  Instantly, I began to tear up as I looked at him.  I was filled with the fire of the Spirit and the weight of women's need.  It enveloped me and seeped into me.  It fused with my being for 30 electrifying seconds.  I have felt such a sensation once before--this thick feeling of being engulfed in water but never drowning, only being pressed in upon by something omnipresent and holistic--as I entered a Celestial Room for the first time.  I stood before him, wearing an unseen mantle lent to me by the spirit of every woman who ever lived, and choked out the words, "Please... I've talked to so many women about this, and we're very concerned.  We want to know about our Mother.  Please take that back to them.  Let them know.  Please, take it back to them."

He said he would, and thanked me again.  The mantle did not lift from my being until I left the building.  I couldn't help the tears falling down my face.  It was likely confusing to those who had seen me just two minutes before going in the other direction with a smile on my face, but I had done what I needed to do.  I did it without little fear and less hesitation.  I felt the Spirit move me in ways I would not have moved myself under my own, often-timid power.


Now I pray and I hope--I desperately hope--that he felt the weight of our need, and he will take it back to the Apostles and Prophet.  I will be praying for that this week as I prepare for this month's Fast.  I will likely also go off the "planned subject schedule", personally, and go back to Fasting for our leaders' inspiration.  Now may be the right time.

May our prayers be heard and answered.

Edits: Corrections made to titles of participants.

Awake and Arise update

So... nobody entered the contest!  No one!  It's kind of funny, actually.  Oh well, moving on with life.

So, the next step is making my own edits and transcription, followed by practice and recording.  I'm not sure how this is going to go, but let me know if you're interested in volunteering for it!  Whether it'll just be audio (almost certainly, to start) or video eventually(?) I haven't fully decided yet.  I guess I'll start with audio and go from there.

Another look at Eden

I recently asked on a Facebook group:

I'm working on a blog post about this, so I'd love to get anyone's insights.

If matriarchy indeed preceded patriarchy, what would the Eden story have looked like from a matriarchal perspective?

Interestingly enough, this is not the post I was working on!  Not by a long shot!  That's been on the back burner for over a week.  However, I got the concept for my extremely speculative answer rather suddenly late last night/early this morning--it was such that my mind felt illuminated and engaged the entire time I was writing, as if someone had it to dictate--and I sat down for about five or six hours just now to write about five or six pages.  The result is after the jump.  It's certainly controversial in some of its elements depending on how literally one believes the Eden story, but I really enjoyed writing it.  To avoid confusion, please note that I exchanged the English "Eve" for the Hebrew "Hawwah" throughout.  "Adam" apparently is already as Hebrew as I'm going to get.

And one last thing before you go and read: I love this story.  I don't get stuff like this coming through my brain very often and I felt inspired.  Whether this is "gospel truth" or not, I don't know--none of us knows--but I feel that it could be.  It could be close to the original series of events in the Garden of Eden, as told before patriarchal culture took the Creation mythology and recorded it as we have it today.  Whether it's pure truth or pure fiction or somewhere in between, I hope this take on the story of our origins touches your heart and feeds your soul the way it did mine.

The Articles of Faith, revisited

Somewhat expanded and updated, per the Gospel according to Jena...

1 I believe in God and Goddess, the Eternal Parents, and in Their Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

 2 I believe that men and women will be punished for their own sins, not for the events in the Garden of Eden.

3 I believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all people may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

 4 I believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.  (I don't have much to add there.)

 5 I believe that a person must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.

 6 I believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth, and that men and women are equally capable of filling these positions.

 7 I believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth, and these are received through faith and the Spirit by those who believe they will receive them.

 8 I believe the Bible to contain the word of God and Goddess as far as it is translated correctly; I also believe the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price to contain the word of God and Goddess.  I believe that each volume of scripture has some cultural baggage attached to it, yet affirm that no baggage negates the message and power of the Gospel of Christ, or the ability of holy writ to uplift, edify, and instruct.

 9 I believe all that God and Goddess have revealed, all that They do now reveal, and I  believe that They will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to Their Kingdom.

 10 I believe in these Last Days, that Goddess will be revealed in Her power and Her daughters shall receive Priestesshood; that Israel shall be literally gathered from  all corners of the earth and the Ten Tribes restored; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisaical glory.

 11 I claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God and Goddess according to the dictates of my own conscience, and allow all people the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

 12 I believe in being subject to just and humane kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining good laws, and claim the right to protest and work to replace bad laws or rulers as necessary.

 13 I believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, doing good to all women and men, and advocating for the needs of the oppressed; indeed, I may say that I follow the admonition of Paul—I believe all things, I hope all things, I have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, I seek after these things.

Safe place

I dream of a yurt in the woods
Shaded by trees as old as my faith
It's walls the colors of brick and blood
Warmed within by a pellet stove.
Its roof gathers rain and dew
And its floors are covered with rugs.

Wooden bed with woolen blankets
Sheepskin slippers and cedar bookshelves
Drying plants adorn the beams and perfume the air

While a Maine Coon warms herself in a sunny spot.
A carved wooden staff  against a wall
Serves as a helpmeet while I journey between the trees
And stands in token of the man I cannot yet picture
Accept-admitting into my sanctuary.


Sunlit hills are hidden through the haze of green and brown
The canopy and undergrowth
Surrounding an easterly field of green and Good
With goats and chickens and a great black horse
A frame for the rising of sun and moon.
A shed for feed and straw and herbs
A home for nourishment and healing.

Henna red hair shines like new copper
A color that comes from my soul.
Out here I can go barefoot
In soft grass with no rocks
Squashy leaf fall with no thorns
Til my feet are black and calloused
So they can feel their strong way without fear.

The perfume of fir and redwood, bay laurel and earth
Covers my hollow like a lover and a friend
Lupine and poppies
Virginia stock and golden grass
Or new-sprung buttercups and clover.

Here I weather all storms
Here I recover from storms
Here I am, with in my self in all my complexity
Here, I am safe.