My Facebook "coming out" post: Seeking Revelation

As Latter Day Saints, continuing, modern revelation is a core tenet of our faith.  On it is founded the Restoration and the need for and validity of prophets.  We sustain our highest leadership as prophets, seers, and revelators, and regard much of their writing and speaking as new scripture that is applicable to our current times and circumstances.

We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God. - 9th Article of Faith

Within the past year, I've noticed a convergence of things in my own life.  From the conversation of friends, to blogs, to academic papers out of BYU, to books and music, it just kept coming up and crossing my path, pointing in one, single direction.

It was a direction my own thoughts had often turned over the years.  In those times it was like seeing a mountain in the near distance--tall and lush with vegetation, rising into the sky as a perpetual gesture toward Heaven and eternity-- and finding yourself at the edge of an impassable gorge.  There was no bridge in sight--none that looked like a reliable crossing--and no way to jump.  You could see the mountain there, you knew it existed, but you could not touch it, taste its fruit, hear its birds, or climb its peak to take in its vista.  True, there was a mountain on this side of the gorge, one with which you are familiar and which you have climbed before, but its partner was yonder, seemingly silent, alone, and always hinting at a deeper understanding of the world.

That mountain was Mother.

Everything was pointing to Heavenly Mother, the epitome of womanhood about whom we know virtually nothing as Latter Day Saints.  We acknowledge Her existence and Her eternal companionship with God the Father, we sing briefly of her in 'O My Father' and there are occasional references in talks and documents, though very often lumped in with Father.  Men could look to Father, Christ, Adam, and several dozen prophets and apostles for their examples.  Women could look to... Father, Christ, Adam, all the prophets and apostles, Eve, and a couple dozen women in scripture for theirs.  But not Mother.

"Why do you need to know about Mother when you have Father and Christ?"  As much as I love them, they're not female.  They are not precisely who or what I--as a woman--aspire to become.  I don't have very much information on exactly what that means and that seems kind of important to eternity.  You can't get where you're going if you don't know the destination.  It was a source of sorrow and frustration, even anger.  I felt powerless to change it, and I was not the only one.

Then at the beginning of the summer, I realized, "Why couldn't I do anything about it?"    I have prayer and fasting, faith, hope, and a long legacy of truth-seeking and inspiration.  I was not powerless!  So I began to fast and pray every month, and it has been an amazing experience.  I feel like my spirit has expanded, cracked open like dry ground, ready to receive nourishment and water when it's given.  It hasn't always been pleasant or easy--in fact, it's one of the most spiritually arduous journeys I've ever embarked on--but I feel closer to my Heavenly Parents for it.  I've felt the influence, guidance, and comfort of the Holy Spirit as I've sought knowledge of my Mother.  I've begun to heal the pain inside and to satisfy this yearning for the Feminine half of the Divine, using the tools I've learned to use throughout my Mormon life.

However, I couldn't let it stop with me.  I had to reach beyond myself.  I knew I wasn't alone.  I asked others who yearned for Mother to join with me in my monthly prayer and fasting, with a hope for something official in General Conference, because this is something we all need to know.  It is a lofty goal!  But, if the time is right and our hearts are ripe, not an unreasonable one.  Ask and ye shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you.  God rarely gives where there has not been preparation and expressed need or curiosity.

Ultimately, it is up to God to give the revelation, and to decide when.  It may be this weekend--I hope it will be, though as yet there has been not the slightest hint, so--it may be in six months, it may be in six years.  But these fasts and these prayers are my offering upon the altar of my soul, the sacrifice I mean in the pursuit of greater intelligence, wisdom, light, knowledge, and understanding.  I trust that they will not be accounted worthless in some time to come.

All seekers for our Mother are welcome to join in the efforts: male and female, LDS and non, conservative and liberal, old and young, straight and gay, rich and poor, single and married.  Even if my prayers are answered this weekend and something comes forth, there is still work left to do and I will continue to fast and pray for some months regardless.  So, you're welcome, my friends, to join me if you feel so inclined.  If you do not feel inclined, that's okay, too. :)

Either way, I have found my Father, and my Brother and Savior and heard their messengers.  Now I listen also for messages from my Mother who stands with them.