Black magic

I have seen black magic.
You have, too, if you know the signs,
The dark marks of a modern cursing
Born in loathsome mutters across the airwaves.

For you see, the black magic that poisons us is not transacted with
Chicken blood or
Eye of newt.

No, the incantations of black magic today
Tell us that we are ugly
That the shape of our bodies is wrong
That we eat, drink, sleep, dress, and play
Wrong.

It drains our pockets and our hearts
In the pursuit of an unattainable lie.
It promises glory with one more lipstick
A two-in-one mascara
A stream-lined car
And rock-hard abs.

The belly is meant to be soft,
Home to vitals and bowels,
Breath and blood and digestion,
A place of comfort and warmth,
The womb.
Black magic casts it with shame and demands that it and all other soft and warm and lovely things be sacrificed
upon an altar of stone and steel.

This is the black magic of our times,
The incantations that coax and coerce and cajole and convince
That we are not divine.
We are not already in the image of God or Goddess.
It isn't okay to be a little overgrown, a little lush, a little wild and untamed.
Black magic says that.

Mother's Day every month: A fast for testimony

In the midst of this upwelling I've personally observed, this increased interest in God the Mother that seems to be gaining more momentum of late and the increasing pursuit of the Divine Feminine in Christianity over all, I've started thinking that we're possibly--even probably--being prepared to receive new revelation regarding Goddess our Mother. It has been a long time coming, as great steps forward usually are.

The Children of Israel wandered 40 years in the wilderness to begin their process from a slave mentality to that of a free people able and willing to stand on their own feet, spiritually and physically.

The lightbulb took nearly 80 years from Sir Humphry Davy's first platinum filament to Thomas Edison's long lasting filament and the revolutionary system that would make electric lighting accessible and viable for a larger scale.

The United States was approximately 300 years in the making from discovery of a new continent (attribute it to whom you will) to the Declaration of Independence. The Restoration of the fullness of the Gospel took almost the same amount of time and in almost the same time frame (using Martin Luther's 95 Theses as a landmark for the beginning of the process, though the Gutenberg Bible would be a worthy starting point as well) and required a massive shift in Western thought (the Enlightenment) to come about in the way that we know it.

If indeed, as Latter Day Saints we do "believe that [God] will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom" it is far from unreasonable to believe that greater light and deeper knowledge are on the way. It is also reasonable, given historical precedent, that it is important for us to ask for it. Very little major revelation comes forth spontaneously. God often waits for us to show readiness, worthiness, and willingness to listen and to receive.

So. Let's ask.

What if we, as a group of Her children who yearn for knowledge of our Mother, set aside an extra "fast Sunday" every month to fast and pray for that knowledge to come? Let us pray that definitive information about Her nature and duties will be revealed; that our leaders will be inspired to ask as well, and then be given the words to speak of Her forthrightly and openly; that the veil will be lifted to reveal the face of our Goddess; that Her daughters will be given solid information about their potential in the eternities, not only as mothers, but as divine beings of power and glory. I would suggest we do this as a unit on the third Sunday of each month, to give ample time between regular Fast Sundays for "rest" and reflection, though anyone is welcome to do so as it is convenient for them. I believe the intent of joining together and proving to the Lord that we hold this matter sacred enough to sacrifice as a people and raise our voices to Him is more important than perfect synchronicity.

I know this will feel very controversial--even dangerous or blasphemous--to many of my fellow faithful members of the Church, and I very much appreciate that. I know there has been a feeling among us that we ought not to touch this subject at all, and indeed I have felt that weight very recently, myself. I would encourage us all to remember the cherished fifth verse of James chapter one (which I alter only to include us all explicitly):

If any of you lack wisdom, let him or her ask of God, who giveth to all men and women liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given them.

By application of this verse, we received knowledge of the Father and the Son, and if indeed Mother is as eternal a truth as her husband and son, we have nothing to fear from a sincere prayer for revelation. The worst we can get in response from the Lord is "Have patience, be faithful; It is not yet time for you to know." However, perhaps it is time, and He awaits our request. Study and ponder the matter in your own heart, and if you feel so inclined, I invite you to join your faith with mine and others as we seek knowledge from our God. If it is the Lord's will, He will make it know. If it is not, I do not believe He will fault us for asking.

My hope is that we will fast and pray monthly as a group for at least one year, or until our prayers are answered at an official Church-wide level such as a Conference talk by the Prophet this October or next April, or an official Proclamation or Declaration. As we take this journey together, I welcome your stories and comments.

EDIT: As this post becomes maybe less apparent as time goes on, don't forget that you can link people to the stationary Page about the Fast.

Perceptions of Deity

I'll be the first person to confess that what I'm about to say is probably not at all original in that I know there are many books out there about how we perceive Deity.  I also have to confess that I have read all of... possibly none of those books.  I keep meaning to pick up Mother Wove the Morning and The Dance of the Dissident Daughter at the recommendations of people whose opinions I respect (if only I could get them on my Kindle app...) but I just haven't, and I can't recall ever having picked up anything really but scripture and maybe Church manuals, so I'm coming here from a place of intellectually knowing I'm not alone, but never having formally seen "Oh hey, we're thinking the same thing."  I don't know why I feel the need to qualify what I'm posting with all that, but moving onward.

Growing up, I knew God was my Father and Christ was my Brother, and I knew there was a Mother in there somewhere but I didn't know anything about her except that She existed, but we're not supposed to pray to Her or really talk about her--at least those are the messages I got.  I was nine in 1991 when a particular talk was given by then-First Counselor President Hinckley regarding Heavenly Mother, so I wasn't really at an age where I was thinking too deeply about things, and certainly not up for exploring or challenging anything; it simply wasn't a manifested part of my personality at that time.  I really longed for Her, but I didn't really feel that I had any way of exploring or pushing that, and I accepted for years that I'd just have to wait to learn more, always having the belief and the faith that I would learn more as time went on.  I knew She was there, even without any idea of what to do with that knowledge.  I knew God had a physical body.  I knew God loved me.  I knew God was there for me, had expectations of me, wanted me to be obedient, but had also provided a way to make it right when I wasn't.

In spite of the intellectual knowledge, in my mind, God was somewhere up in the sky, invisible, vaporous, without any facial expression besides benevolent approval and kindliness or disappointment and disapproval.  My imagination really failed me there, coupled with a... well, a somewhat frightened unwillingness to actively entertain anything that wasn't (to me) straight down the middle of the strait and narrow.  Insert a comment about faith vs. fear here.

Since starting this blog and joining in discussions with friends about Heavenly Mother, exposure to the work of Shiloh Sophia McCloud and several other things that have come along in the past few months, I've started thinking more about our eternal and divine natures as children of deity.  Given how prominent assurances are in our teachings that we have potential to become like God ourselves, does it not seem strange that very rarely--possibly never--do I hear anyone in a Sunday School of Relief Society lesson extend that idea into "What will we be like as gods and goddesses?" and then turn it back to "Now, what do you think God is like?"  (And I know I've never heard Goddess included in a sentence like that in a lesson.)  But why not? Indeed, if a man cannot be exalted outside the everlasting covenant of marriage, would not the whole thing collapse without her? That's kind of important, don't you think?

I know some would come back with the gem "It's not critical to your salvation."  Yeah, well neither is emergency preparedness or homemaking and we spend plenty of time on expounding upon the virtues of those.  Neither is serving a full-time mission when you really break it down.  There are a lot of things that aren't "critical" to our salvation; in fact everything outside of making baptismal covenants and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost by proper authority, repentance, and enduring to the end is outside of that "critical" realm of salvation from sin (see here, fourth paragraph.)  I would say even temple covenants aren't critical to salvation.  However, they are critical to eternal exaltation (as mentioned in the final paragraph of the previous link, and which I am separating as a concept; though they're often used interchangeably, they are not the same) and exaltation is a much broader topic than salvation, and isn't it really what we have in mind when we talk about everything else of an eternal nature in the Gospel?  So yes, I would say that knowledge of who my Mother is, what she is, and what she's like is critical to my exaltation, because She is who I am going to be.  She is my example  I deeply and sincerely love my elder Brother, Jesus, and I am grateful every day for the Atonement, and he is an excellent example in living life and serving others and getting back Home, but I am unaware of any instance of Him turning to the women, and directly saying, "Thus saith the Lady, your Mother, what kind of women ought ye to be?  Verily, even as She is."  I will follow the principles I've been given of love/charity, faith, honor, virtue, honesty, integrity, and all the rest to the ends of the Earth, but I'm aiming higher than leading a good enough life not to go to Hell, and I'd like a little more information on what I'm going to become. Yes, there will be ample time to learn in the eternities, but "if a [woman] gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through [her] diligence and obedience than another, [she] will have so much the advantage in the world to come." (D&C 130:19)

I'm getting side-tracked: back on topic.  Perceptions of Deity.  So we don't get a lot of direction or even discussion about this topic of "What are Father and Mother actually like?" and I was left with this flowing glare of white in place of bodied deities.  Problematic, to say the least.  How does one relate to that as being one's Parent?  As I've pondered the matter over the past few days, the following came to my mind.

The Gods are not blanks of "justice and/or mercy", only dealing out blessings and curses as They see fit.  Nor are they featureless or without expression, a monotone and monochromatic field of dogma-made-flesh.  They are Father and Mother, with individualities, personalities, each with their own, separate eternities of life experience, and a unified purpose to glorify and exalt their children.  Each is mighty, omnipotent, and full of love for their children and all creations Their hands have formed.  They are living, loving, intelligent beings of perfect wisdom and understanding.
I believe when they left their own mortal spheres, they yet had many things to learn, with much growth to achieve before they were prepared to be who they are now.  I infer this from the certainty that there is no one, however well-educated, who died knowing everything.  Even a Millenium of righteousness may not be sufficient to teach me how to solve Calculus, as well as to juggle (and it is my understanding that we will be otherwise engaged in proxy work, anyway) or any number of other things that I feel certain the Gods know and understand.  Improvement and progression are a process of change, a process our Parents have experienced and one through which they will guide us.
Our God, our Father has a name and a face.  Our Goddess, our Mother, has a name and a face.  Their eyes have colors, their lips have shape, their bodies have height and weight.  They have voices and favorite turns of phrase.  They each have a laugh, as glorious as the sound of sunrise.  There was a time, when they were mortal, when they had specific gifts and talents that they strove to improve and perfect.  They were us, and we can be them.
When I become Mother, when I am Lady Wisdom, when I am co-creator with my love, I will still have a name and a face.  I will still have a voice and a laugh, and ambitions and dreams.  I will still have vision of my own.  I will still be me, exalted, perfected, the achievement of my immortal potential.  I will be Goddess, too.

This knowledge helps bring Her home for me.  I can imagine her face, I can imagine her smile, I can hope I'll look like her someday.  It also brings Him home.  He loves me.  He speaks to and instructs me.  They relate to me.  They are related to me.  Their very human reality informs my testimony and my destiny, and gives me some perspective on this matter.

How deeply I wish this post wasn't so unusual.  How I wish we talked about this more.